Baby Mexicunt,

Remember when we had said “forever?” I do. Every single day. I remember sitting on the phone with you, and having the stupidest conversations in the world. Remember when you ditched me for Twilight? Or we’d stay up talking all night about the most random shit? And when you got me upset cause I thought you hooked up with this girl and it turns out you were just fucking with my feelings? I was super pissed at you. Or even when you would dedicate songs to me? Remember when you asked if I liked you? And then you dedicated Diagnosed with Love to me… I remember I couldn’t reply for like a good 10 minutes cause I was like so shocked, and then I finally replied.

You’re still relevant in my life. Not a day goes by where I’m not slightly angry that I don’t have my best friend around. I mean, yes, I have other best friends. But you were my best friend. We were supposed to grow old together, and be by each other’s sides till we sagged. We loved each other because we were so alike, which is why we were so damn explosive. We were either sexually charged, or we were fighting. After that whole period, it was nice to finally find a happy medium. We got along so well, and I’m glad you were mine.

I remember everything that happened with you. Well, I did. I’m slowly starting to forget, but I’ll still hold a lot of things with me. You’ve taught me a lot, but I’m  never going to forget the way you threw away our friendship. That scarred me. The one person that I truly trusted, with everything in my life, just lied to me and threw away our friendship like it meant nothing— with no explanation. I apologize that I took our friendship in the wrong respect, but you did mean the most to me.

Someday I’ll forget all the specific memories we had. All the fights, and the makeups, and the long talks— but I’ll never forget you. And for now, I’ll hold onto those things, because they’re the only souvenirs of the whirlwind friendship that we had.

Love,

Crazy aZn bitch

I’m too lazy to separate them. Stop with the letters, really?

Someone I’ve drifted away from? Um, okay. Here it goes.

V-Bear,

I don’t know how we drifted, but we did. We just agree to disagree on how to spend our time, but you’ve changed so much. You have, and I don’t really know who you are anymore, or how to relate to you. As much as I love partying, I’m not willing to drop everything and run that shit. Yes, I guess this is the time to do that stuff— but you know me, I’m under control. You’ve become a sloppy mess underneath it all. I don’t know what to talk about with you, and things just aren’t as easy. You started hanging out with different people, and so did I. You weren’t there for me when I really, really needed you, and when I did tell you what I needed to say, you didn’t sound remotely interested. When I had my surgery and all my problems, you didn’t understand and you brushed it off. You were supposed to be my bear, and you’re supposed to at least try to give a shit. I wish I knew who you were now, because now we’ve become reduced to half-ass conversations. The only reason I even invited you to my party was because of the mere fact that we’ve had so much history together.

I talked to someone recently, and I mentioned the fact that none of us really talk to you anymore. You didn’t even have the decency to show up to her birthday party. We just sat there and shrugged our shoulders going, while she said to me, “It’s funny how much things have changed.” Because they have.

I admit, part of the drift was my fault. But even though I no longer hung out at the beach, it didn’t mean that I didn’t try my absolute best to contact you or hang out with you. I miss you though. I miss our guy love and our bearyness. And our sleepovers where you woke me up at fucking 3 in the morning. I wish we were still as close as we used to be, but life happens.

- C-Bear

to a bunch of people,

i hope you would forgive me by now, but i’m not expecting anything. i’m sorry that you all were hurt by my actions, and i get your side, but honestly— i really don’t think what i did was wrong. i feel badly about you guys feeling badly about it, but honestly? maybe it was my fault for letting it slip and confiding in my friend, and that friend let it slip. but seriously? get over it. i made a mistake, and honestly— half of you guys were fake as fuck anyway. so even though i wish you would forgive me, i still stand by what i said earlier. he didn’t have to leave. he just left. i didn’t cause him to leave, he did it on his own. no matter how embarrassed someone gets, if they really give a shit about you, they’ll stick it out. so you can hate me, because i know i’ll never talk/meet/see you guys ever, and i don’t really give a flying rat’s ass about what you think about me. because i’m perfectly content with my life. i don’t seek your approval, it would be nice of you to forgive me, but i’m not holding my breath. i never was.

- me

Andrew,

I’ve written to you so many times that it’s not even funny. And there were things that I’ve said, and things that I haven’t said to you. But, I’m really sick of writing them. I’m so done writing them. I’m done hating you, and I’m done with this. You’ve taught me a lot of valuable lessons, and if you want to read what they are you can just read my other 93280830598305 letters that I’ve sent you. Or not sent you. You should read that 7 page one that you never managed to finish.

I’m done hating you, I’m done feeling anything for you. Have a great life. Maybe we’ll meet again. But probably not.

- Christa

Grandma,

I’m so sorry about not being able to say goodbye, and I’m sorry that I treated you so badly and that I was a brat. I hope you can look down and see how much I’ve grown up over the past few years. And I hope that after all that I’ve done, all the mistakes I’ve made, that I could have somehow made you proud. I’m sorry that I never got to tell you that I loved you more often and I’m sorry that I could be such a complete nasty butthead. But I’ve grown up, and I’ve become more mature and hopefully, more appreciative of the things that I’ve been given.

There is so much more that I could say, but I love you and RIP.

Love,

Christa

D,

Honestly— I wish we could talk a lot more. Ironically July 10th, aka the 10th day of the month signifies our one year anniversary of friendship :) You’re on a trip (presumably to California to visit family. See. :D I’m proud of myself for deductive reasoning and guessing) so I probably won’t get to talk to you until you come back. I’m gonna keep this short, because I know waiting and patience has its perks. So… I love you :] And I hope we get to talk soon. Happy one year, D.

Love,

C

PS. Abby, you idiot. The name is in the tags but now I’ll remove it so you will never know who ‘D’ is. D, if you read this, I’m going to laugh. You’ll have to meet Abby someday, someday soon. WHEN YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE.

Dear Zac Efron’s little brother/Dylan Efron,

I have noticed that you have gotten increasingly more attractive. I hope one day that we can meet, and you rip your clothes off in front of me. Then you can proceed to do me. You know, amongst other things. We could date too, if moving slow is what you prefer. Hope this letter isn’t too trashy. I just like being honest.

Love,

Me.

CLARISSE,

Someday I’ll go down to San Diego and party hard with you.

Love you, asian slut!

- Christa

B,

I have exactly 59 minutes to write this letter before it becomes too late to do so. So, I guess what I have to say to you is— I’m pretty sure I chose my college because of its proximity to you. I think it’s a relief that I can finally admit it to you now, via tumblr and everything. Because I know you sometimes happen to “stumble” upon my tumblr, and that’s okay I guess. I don’t mind. I guess the fact of the matter was, I was pretty serious about “us” the last time the topic came up. I was willing to drop a lot for you, and you kind of royally fucked it up by not talking to me for a long time. Which you always do. I find it highly ironic that this last time was the time I actually tried because I wanted to be with you. Unfortunately for me, I thought wrong.

Of course, things happen for a reason right? I honestly can’t be sure if I can say I really loved you or meant anything I said to you, at least the deep feelings. I liked you, a lot. But I’m not sure if it’s because I really did or if it’s because you were the only boy who has made me feel remotely loved in my life. You confuse me, because sometimes I don’t think you were sincere about what you told me, at least I’m pretty sure you weren’t. I don’t know what to say to you to be honest, all I know is that you were the only boy who has ever made me feel beautiful. You did, and it made me feel wonderful. I feel like you were the only one who I thought saw past all the bullshit and still thought I was beautiful, and the sun shined out of my ass through the good and bad. Despite what everyone else says, how you treated me like “shit”, I treated you with the same respect, and I apologize. I apologize that I couldn’t wait for you over and over, but I hope you do realize that you did the same thing to me. Your deal was that you always made me wait, and my deal was that I couldn’t keep waiting. I’m sorry I kept pushing you to do things that you didn’t want to do. I didn’t mean to push you into asking me out, that wasn’t my intention. I’m sorry if I ever made things awkward.

Most of all, I apologize that we’re not on better terms now. Sometimes shit goes haywire and emotions run wild, and I wish you gave me the closure that I deserved the last time we talked. It was dumb, and I just hated the fact that you never gave me a definitive answer. Of course I would assume you would come back and feel the same way, you can’t just say that you’re gonna take time off so you can focus on other shit before you can focus on what you feel will be the most important thing to you, and say that thing is me. And now that we’ve been through that, we’re not even friends anymore. That’s the thing I don’t get the most. We’ve been friends for over 2 years already, and we’re  not anymore. That seems silly, because I feel like I put myself out there, and I’m entirely justified to feel upset at you when you pretend like nothing is wrong, when there were things that were wrong. And yes, sometimes I make things much harder than they need to be, but I was honest with you, and you kind of just made me feel like everything we had gone through over those past two months, those long talks, and the emotions we felt, meant nothing.

And knowing you for as long as I have, I think I deserve better than that. I deserve to be treated better than that, and you know it. I also hate how you used to tell me to “let go of all my feelings for you,” because you have no right to know what’s good for me and what isn’t. I just think it’s amusing that after all this time— I still don’t know anything about you. You can call me beautiful one day, and then the next day disappear, and then a month later, decide you want to come back into my life and pretend nothing is wrong. This same cycle has been going on for the past two years, and I’m sick of it. I miss when you actually gave a flying fuck. Even as friends. I just wanted to let you know that I still care about you. Even if you don’t about me.

I miss you, but if you aren’t going to try to talk to me, then it’s okay. Like I said— I gave up on you when you gave up on us.

- Christa

Day 4- Sibling

Dear brother,

I love you and I’ll write you a letter later. I’m too lazy.

Love, Me

Day 5- Dreams

Dear dreams,

I wish that you would stop making me dream about him. Because he doesn’t exist. At least not to me anymore.

Love, Me

Day 6- Stranger

See Day 2 “crush”