on the subject of my love life
I’m going to be completely honest: I’m in a bit of a rut right now. I find it to be extremely frustrating that I am currently waiting around for someone who, despite his feelings for me, cannot commit to me 100% at this time. He has legitimate reasons, of course. (He’s in rehab, so it’s not like he is able to reach me at the current time.) I just feel so selfish whining and bitching about how I have to wait around for him, but I don’t have any right or reason in doing so. The majority of me wants to just break him out of rehab and get him to me. But honestly, he’s doing this for himself, and it’s not like he didn’t give me the option to walk away (he did, and he was really sincere about it.) But that’s the thing, I don’t really want anyone else. Why settle for less than the best, especially when you’ve already had it?
It’s hard to love someone who’s so far away, so distant, and so screwed up— but that’s what makes your love a lot more vulnerable (yet still special) than the rest. But honestly there’s a huge part that really wishes that I could be with him this weekend, so we could do stupid things like going to museums together, and all he’d do is follow me around and shake his head going, “What am I going to do with you?”
The answer: Everything and anything.
I miss you.